I'm happy to say that Friday ended uneventfully! I have no idea what that feeling was about. I spent two hours on the phone with my mom, though, and it was good to catch up.

I spent most of Saturday's holiday party talking to my nieces. Sometimes six-year-olds are the best conversationalists. A sister-in-law announced that she is pregnant again. I'm happy for them, but too bad they don't have health insurance.

My colorist repaired my hideous haircut and pumped up my highlights. I feel loads lighter. I think I'm done coloring my hair for a while...I decided this morning that I should enjoy my natural hair color before any gray hairs start peeping through.

We found the perfect Christmas tree at a perfect price! We stumbled upon a local Lions Club selling 7' trees for $34. Can't beat a deal like that. We'll trim the tree tonight, though I don't think it needs it! I'm happy with a beautiful tree decked out in nothing but white lights. I love sitting on the couch and basking in their warm, pine-scented glow. Two weeks until Christmas!

I've got a weird feeling about today. It's been following me around since last night. I can't pinpoint it...it's not anyone's birthday, I have nothing going on tonight, there aren't any work meetings I'm missing, my bills are paid, my cats are healthy, my SO is just fine... What on earth could it be? I'd better call my parents tonight. I hate that lurking feeling of uneasiness.

I'm halfway done with one niece's scarf. I think I'll finish it tonight. My aunts' annual holiday package for me arrived yesterday, which means I need to get my butt in gear and get theirs mailed out!! I can't believe it is December 8th already.

My soon-to-be two year old niece is getting this frog prince for her birthday:



The mouth zips and unzips to reveal a sewn-on fly.

...that you inevitably end up spending more than you have left on the gift card. Last night we stepped into Ikea with our $13 gift card, and walked out with $100 in stuff. It was all good, useful stuff, and we found lots of gifts (and a set of beautiful blue-gray dishes, six place settings for $18!), but not exactly within in the budget. Then, the Gap. I found a gorgeous men's zip-up sweater hoodie for me, perfect, and bought it. I used up my gift card and spent an additional $47! Yowza! I did a little better in Sephora - used up my $52 gift card and only spent an extra $8. Yes, I'm one of those people who has ridiculously expensive lipstick on my wishlist. I'd never buy it myself, but that's what a wishlist is for - wishing. I certainly don't expect it to be sitting under the tree. I'd be just as happy with something much cheaper.

All in all, we were very productive yesterday, and the shopping atmosphere was perfect. Virtually no one was at the Mall of America. There's no way I'd step foot in that mall on a December weekend, but Wednesday night was great.

I've got a holiday party to attend this weekend...a very religious holiday party (i.e. having the children dress up and reenact the birth of Christ). I'm going to need to build up my patience reserves between now and then.

My take on the holiday season is this - I'm not religious, but if you want to be, go ahead (just don't force it on me). Personally, I take this time to sit back, take stock of all that I have and am thankful for, and show my love and appreciation for my family and friends. I love buying and making gifts for people. I love the spirit of giving and cherishing those you care about. I like making others happy. That's what the holiday season means to me...and I feel good about that.

I'm pretty happy today. Yes, perhaps it is because of the square of 70% dark chocolate I just ate...but I'm pretty jovial. Most of my holiday shopping is done, and though I'm having trouble with a couple of homemade gifts, I'm not going to sweat it. I have a lot of baking to do, but that is one of the enjoyable parts of the holidays. My trainee is smart and catching on fast. I'm going "shopping" tonight with my sweetheart, gift cards at the ready. All in all, life is good.

I'm reading the "How to Ruin Your Life" series by Ben Stein. It includes "How to Ruin Your Love Life" and "How to Ruin Your Financial Life", in addition to the first. Really funny stuff. I just finished a fabulous (but long and somewhat intense) novel set in medieval times, so this is nice and light.

I am envious of DivaJen's ability to meet so many of her 2006 goals. I met only four of my own. I'm not sure how to change this budget and goals slump I'm in. I've got to ruminate on that a while...

I just went through my stash of gift cards. I've got to use a few up this month before they start deducting $2 a month from the balance. Coffee? Makeup? A sweater, perhaps? Twist my arm.

I like gift cards, because they give me the power of choice. I just have to remember that they are in my wallet. I've taken up labeling them with small post-it notes so I remember how much is left on each card. We have used up almost all of our grocery gift cards - those really are the best. Having paid for them in advance and then using them at the checkout makes me feel as though I'm saving money (even though I'm not). The credit card company should be mailing our cash back check soon, and it's going straight into the vacation fund!

I finally got a bit of overtime last night. There hasn't been much extra work, but now that the holidays are fast approaching, hopefully that will change. I could use the overtime.

Training the new person is going well. She's rather bored right now, but that won't last long.

Winter finally hit us here. The morning windchill has dipped below zero for several days. I'm back to asking myself how many more winters I want to go through...might this be my last?

We're finally getting new hires on our work team, and - surprise! - I'm training one person in, starting Monday. I haven't had to train anyone for years. It should be interesting. We're also mixing it up; my cube partner is moving to a new spot, and I get a new person. Someday, when I finally get an office with a door all to myself, I will be ecstatic.

Last night I created four wine corkboards for holiday gifts. I just have to glue them together and *poof*, four sources of holiday stress, gone. A friend of mine is picking up corks from a restaurant for me tonight - more free materials! If you drink wine and hang on to the corks, let me know, because I'd love to have them.

I'm a little nervous about making biscotti. My sister told me it is harder than it seems. Guess what I'll be experimenting with this weekend?

My sister and I took a step back in time last weekend and tried to think like a 6-year-old girl. My niece asked me to make her a scarf, and of course, her favorite color is hot pink. Sister and I hit the craft store, and juggled several skeins of hot pink yarn until we found the perfect fit. I might need to wear sunglasses to crochet it, but my niece will love it. Good thing I had my sister with me, because I never liked pink, not even as a kid.

I ordered my TransUnion free credit report, and it was decidedly unthorough. It had the least amount of information of the three. I didn't bother getting my credit score this time around - $7.95 for a number? No thanks. I have more important things to spend that money on, like fudge ingredients.

I've got three weekends left to finish the fudge, bread, biscotti, truffles, magnets, scarves, jewelry, and gift wrapping. Eep!

I like the idea of the garden to relax in...perhaps a lovely one like

Fern's? In a more temperate climate? Something to dream about...

pri·va·cy n.

- The quality or condition of being secluded from the presence or view of others.
- The state of being free from unsanctioned intrusion: a person's right to privacy.
- The state of being concealed; secrecy.

I realized last night that privacy has become a foreign concept in my life. I get up in the morning because the cats are yelling and stepping on my head. I take a shower, and though I lock the cats out of the room, they continually throw their furry bodies against the bathroom door in an effort to open it, and scream incessantly. I walk to the bus stop, alone but not alone, since I live on a busy street and most drivers have a staring problem. I take a very full bus to work. I sit at work, watched by my coworkers who slyly monitor my computer usage. Mostly women work in my department, so there is always at least one other person in the restroom. Even at home, when I'm alone in the bathroom, the cats scream at me through the door, and SO is often lurking nearby because he somehow always needs to use it when I do.

I am by nature a rather private person. Sometimes I'd just like to be alone. Perhaps learning meditation would allow me to escape when I really can't.

So, what is the cost of privacy? Or the lack thereof? Sometimes I think buying a house would be worth it, because I'd require it to have at least two bathrooms, and perhaps another room I could call my own and retreat to. Houses, and moving, are both a bit pricey.

This is not to say I always want to be alone...just now and then, it would be nice. I love having SO's company, and the cats (when they aren't yowling), but I rarely have the opportunity to be by myself anymore. I spent a lot of time alone growing up, so it's a bit hard for me to continually live like this now. I admire those of you with children, because I know you rarely get time to yourselves! I don't know how you do it.

I wrapped most of my holiday presents last night! It's nice to have that done so far ahead of time. I have a lot of projects to get cracking on!

In 2007, I am taking a vacation, come hell or high water.

If I'm frugal for the next couple of months, I'll have plenty of cash saved up by mid-February. I'm still dreaming about a week at

Isla Holbox in Mexico. I could take a bite right out of that piece of paradise...swimming with dolphins! Gazing at manta rays! Kayaking through mangroves! Digging my toes into the sand! Sounds like heaven.

I've been working on my year-long 2007 budget, and I added a vacation fund. I plan to have my smaller college loan paid off by June 2007, and my holiday savings fully funded by August.

My sister noticed my budget spreadsheet and asked about it. She seemed really interested in developing a budget - I'll have to make one up for her. I often stop and think about how much being a part of this website has helped me over the past couple of years. I think about money and acquiring "stuff" differently, and I'm proud of that!

Have you ever gone back to a salon and complained about a haircut? I got mine done last week at a new place, and I really don’t like the cut. I'm leery about having the same person fix it. Certainly in this case, having a coupon did not pay off. I should have just gone to my regular salon!

What a perfect Thanksgiving day. The weather was gorgeous, so we visited the goose park again - this time I brought my digital camera. I'll have the photos up soon (take a peek to the right, and you'll find my new flickr links). The food was amazing; my sister-in-law made some incredible no-knead bread and cranberry mousse. I could have sucked that mousse through a straw, it was so good. The younger kids are learning how to form and write sentences. I absolutely love the sparkle that learning to read and write gives kids...I could have worked on it with them all night.

I've got about $85 left to spend for holiday gifts. We're debating about the Christmas tree...last year we bought a live one, which I love, but it was a little pricey. Boughs give off a nice pine scent and cost a lot less. My niece requested a crocheted scarf, so I'll have to get some hot pink yarn. I'm feeling pretty good about my gifts; now I've just got to wrap them, and start baking like mad.

Today's weather is a repeat of yesterday. It's 54 degrees right now! Love it. I wish I had the day off, but I'll bask in the warm air as soon as I walk out the door.

Have a great weekend!!

Last night SO and I attended a MPR Talking Volumes segment to see Isabel Allende. I've read most of her books and have long adored her writing style. The show was incredible! She is absolutely hilarious! The show was sold out, and seating was general admission, but SO and I were taken right to the front row for some reason. We had wonderful seats, and afterwards got three books signed by Allende. I can't wait to get the podcast of the show. She was so entertaining, and the host really didn't have to prompt her much at all. It was the best $10 I've spent in a long time - far better than any $50 concert ticket. If you have the chance to see her, I encourage you to go, even if you haven't read any of her novels. Some may not agree with her politics, but I thought she was spot-on, and so funny. It was delightful to hear her read excerpts from her new book in Spanish...she's still got a bit of the Chilean accent, and it brought back memories. I dreamt in Spanish last night.

This morning I'm making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and might step out to pick up a couple of holiday gifts. I took one cat to the vet earlier today and she is healthy as can be. Now both of my furry babies have microchips - what a relief, if they ever escaped.

I've got to start crocheting and beading if I'm going to get gifts made in time!

Jeffrey has caused yet another savingadvice.com sensation.

I have tons of stories! It was hard to choose.

1. I have only carried a credit card balance once in my life, and I never intend to again.

2. I was born in California, and I spent most of my childhood wishing my family had stayed there.

3. I was the high school marching band drum major.

4. I’ve never broken a bone, but I’ve had four surgeries.

5. I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket, and have only been pulled over once.

6. I wouldn’t recognize most of my cousins if I ran into them on the street.

7. I majored in music in college, and can play lots of instruments, but I can’t sing to save my life.

8. In college I did free tarot card readings on a regular basis.

9. I miss writing letters with a pen and paper, so I’ve started sending my sister a postcard every week.

10. I’ve never been to the east coast (with the exception of Florida), but someday I’ll get there.

11. I once was within 90 miles of Antarctica, and I wish I had spent the money to fly over it.

12. I know what it’s like to tell someone you’ll never love them, and I’ve heard those words myself.

13. I went to three high school proms.

14. I absolutely detest mushrooms, brussels sprouts, and the smell of dill.

15. I started several lists in grade school – 'Things To Do Someday', 'I Love It When…', 'I Hate It When…', etc - and I still maintain them.

16. My first car was destroyed in a tornado.

17. I have the unnerving ability to answer questions before they are asked.

18. My great-grandmother was friends with Al Capone, and used to drag my grandmother along to mafia wakes.

19. Most people assume that my eyes are so blue because my contacts are colored. They aren’t.

20. I’ve gone skinny-dipping in the Mississippi River.

21. When I was a small child, my parents visited a man selling an expensive horse. The man offered to give my parents the horse for free and kick in an extra $10,000 - in return for me. He had a young blond son...apparently he wanted a matching set.

22. I lived in California for over a month during fifth grade, and my teacher mailed me my homework.

23. I once found myself stranded in Peru and slept on a bar room bathroom floor.

24. I’ve had a few stalkers. If someone never returns your phone calls, take the hint.

25. My best friend and I pretended to have multiple personalities for an entire year during junior high. We wrote each other notes and even talked to each other in different voices. Thankfully, none of them stuck around.

26. I hate horror movies but have a morbid fascination with cemeteries and the TV show First 48.

27. I was caught by the cops for underage drinking and charged with a minor in consumption on Friday the 13th.

28. I waitressed (poorly) for two months. Someone left me a 9 cent tip.

29. I found myself stranded on a boat on the Missouri River for several hours in the middle of the night. I was wet, and it was cold.

30. My favorite animal is the stingray. They like to keep to themselves and are gentle creatures unless provoked.

31. I watched a man eat matchsticks and wash them down with beer on a Greyhound bus.

32. I was 10 years old when I took my first plane flight alone. The flying bug bit me, then and there.

33. I’m part Irish but I can’t stand Guinness. It’s too much like slurping motor oil.

34. I crashed an ex-boyfriend’s wedding and reception. The bride was not too happy.

35. Everyone in my family can see, feel, and/or hear spirits. The most frequent visitors are grandparents and pets.

36. I wish I had a culture.

37. Someday I will scuba dive, rock climb outdoors, sky dive, and swim with stingrays.

38. I’ve been on a balloon ride over the St. Croix River Valley. Watching the sun rise from that vantage point was amazing.

39. I believe in reincarnation.

40. I am agnostic but mentally cross myself every time I see roadkill or a cross propped by the side of the road.

41. I grew up in a relatively lax Mormon household, and was allowed to choose my own path and we did not attend church. I get very defensive very quickly when people make stereotypical assumptions about Mormons, despite the fact that I am not.

42. I’ve always wished I was more athletic.

43. I carry pepper spray with me everywhere. I’d feel better if I had a pistol.

44. I am obsessed with learning everything about Queen Elizabeth I and the Tudor family line.

45. I used to be a makeup artist for stage productions, and I’ve done makeup for wedding parties.

46. I hate the circle of life. I can’t watch animals die.

47. I didn’t speak to my father for over a year. Our relationship is probably better now because of it.

48. I love the smell of new books.

49. I prefer to eat Snickers bars in layers.

50. I make a point to never regret even one millisecond of my life. Everything happens for a reason.

My car is back from the shop, after forking over $470. That's a little over half what I paid to fix it in March. It's been a pricey repair year for a car that doesn't get driven too often, particularly when compared to 2005's numbers: a mere $190 spent on car maintenance.

2006 has also been an expensive year for medical needs. I finally decided to do something about my headaches, had to visit the chiropractor for a few months, and experienced some other medical issues. My latest daily headache medication is really not cutting it, and the only option I have left is anti-seizure meds. I have decided to try a healthier diet and more exercise to treat my heachaches before moving on to any other meds. As part of that effort, I took a brisk 25 minute walk during lunch today. It had to be brisk, walking in 35 degree weather.

I'm looking forward to seeing the results of my 2005 vs 2006 chart after the end of this year. So far, I'm managing my money better in most of the budget categories. I'm really glad I keep track - not only does it give me something to ponder on slow days, but it really keeps me honest about exactly what I'm spending my money on.

The coupon train is apparently suspended in space somewhere. I hope it's not lost. I have so many coupons to put on it, it's ridiculous! My coupon pouch is bulging at the seams, and I have 5 more newspaper inserts to clip. Yowza.

Two quick food reviews:
- Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat beer: My new favorite beer - light and crisp, with a hint of blueberry aftertaste. Really one of the best beers I have had in a long time. I hope I can still get Leine's after I move out of Minnesota.
- Tofu Shirataki Noodles: Supposedly a decent substitute for pasta, with a fraction of the calories. I'm hoping the reason the "noodles" turned out like chewy rubberbands (or bad calamari, if you've had it) is due to user error, and not how they are supposed to be. Last night I placed a forkful in my mouth and could not stop laughing long enough to swallow it. Rubber bands! Covered in cheese! Mmmm Mmmm Good!

I've been contemplating writing a lot lately. I'm still reading that how-to fiction writing book every day at lunch, and last night I thumbed through a writer's retreat kit. My mom mentioned a computer program on the market that helps you start writing (a computerized kick in the pants, if you will). All this contemplating, yet still no writing. Last night the little voice in my head kept saying I don't have enough creativity to write. And then I'm too tired. And the laundry needs to get done. And the cat is screaming at me for attention. And and and.

The same thing happens with other creative pursuits of mine. I've starting making jewelry again. At this time last year, I perused our workplace craft sale and thought, "I could make better jewelry than that!" Did I? No. A year later, I should have more inventory than a dozen pieces. I could have a table at the craft sale today, but I don't. I sometimes get frustrated with jewelry-making in the same way I get frustrated with writing, or practicing my bassoon if it's just not a good day for it, or trying to learn a new piano piece.

The problem, however, is not that I lack creativity. It's that I have trouble ignoring that annoying little voice. What's there to be afraid of, anyway? So I can't make necklace look quite right...so what? So no one wants to publish my novel...so what? So my clay pots are hideously ugly...so what? I'll just take the class again, and get better.

I think I've had the "must have natural talent" drum beating away for so long that I've forgotten that nothing comes easily. I've got to work at it.

Hmmm, something financial.....today I compared my net worth in October 2005 to my net worth now. I've gained over $8,000. Pretty good! Perhaps this time next year I'll be $5,000 in the black!

I dropped my car off at the shop last night. The rear passenger wheel feels like it's going to pop right off every time I hit a pothole or go around a corner. It needs new struts, apparently, and they aren't sure if they'll be able to replace it cleanly since the car is 12 years old. They couldn't get to fixing it today, so I'll get it back on Monday. The damage will be at least $430, if it goes well. If it doesn't..*sigh* I'm really hoping it goes well.

This news made me realize that I need several savings funds:

1. Emergency Fund ($1000 minimum)
2. Car Repair Fund ($2000 minimum)
3. Vacation Fund ($1500 minimum)
4. Family Fund ($500 minimum)
5. Holiday Fund ($500 minimum)
6. Pet Emergency Fund ($500 minimum)

Plus my Roth IRA, 401K, New Car Fund, House Downpayment Fund, Stuff I Want Fund...etc etc. I've been working on 1, 4, and 5 for a while, but I know I need the others as well.

Time to crack down on excess spending!

Snickers Fudge

Bottom Layer
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butterscotch chips
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter

Filling
1/4 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup evaporated milk
1 1/2 cups marshmallow cream
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups chopped salted peanuts

Caramel Layer
14 oz package caramels
1/4 cup whipping cream

Top Layer
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butterscotch chips
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter

Directions
Bottom Layer: Combine the ingredients in a small saucepan; stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Spread onto the bottom of a well-greased 13x9x2 pan. Refrigerate until set.

Filling: Melt butter in a heavy saucepan over medium-high heat. Add sugar and milk. Bring to a boil; boil and stir for 5 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in the marshmallow cream, peanut butter, and vanilla. Add peanuts. Spread over first layer (work fast!). Refrigerate until set.

Caramel Layer: Combine caramels and cream in a saucepan; stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Spread over the filling. Refrigerate until set.

Top Layer: Combine chips and peanut butter in a saucepan; stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Pour over the caramel layer. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Cut into 1 inch squares. Store in the refrigerator.

Too bad I can't make a real poll within my blog. Here's my question:

How do you/did you split the holidays between your family and your significant other's family?

This has been a hot topic in my household as of late. My parents live several hours away, and they only have me, my sister, and my SO. SO's parents live a short drive away and have four kids (with four spouses) and six grandchildren. We see his parents all the time. We see my parents maybe a few times a year.

I haven't been home for Thanskgiving, Easter, the 4th of July, my birthday, my Dad's birthday, etc in years. I make an effort to visit my parents every Christmas. Last year, I spent Christmas with SO's family for the first time and went to my parents' house a few days later. My family did not celebrate Christmas at all until I got there. I felt horrible!!

This year, I'm going to my parents' house, with or without SO. It's also the week of my mom's 60th birthday, which I don't want to miss.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. SO wants me with him, but also wants to be at his parents' house. I am going to my parents' house. A friend of mine feels it is unfair of me to expect SO to stay at my parents' house for a week (although, he has family nearby that he could visit, too). She thinks we should get a hotel room whenever we visit my parents. That might make SO more comfortable, yes, but my family would be so disappointed, not to mention the cost of a week in a hotel!!! Plus driving - it would be at least a half hour drive one way to get to a hotel from my parents' house.

So, your thoughts and experiences, please. Do you alternate holidays every year? Is there any alternative to splitting the holidays or going our separate ways during that time? Am I agonizing over this too much?

(I'll get that Snickers Fudge recipe out next!)

My chiropractor's billing department has taken to sending me a bill every month, for services rendered in August...services that were also paid in August. They don't answer the phone, and don't return phone calls, so today I wrote a letter. Enough is enough.

A different doctor's billing department just got around to sending me a bill from services rendered in August. I still haven't received a bill for September. I guess they aren't too concerned about getting their money!

My health insurance is going up $427 a year. Ouch. I am lucky enough to work for a place that allows me to have my SO on my health insurance. We will split the extra cost. Bummer, though!

I'm making a list of things I can make to send to people for the holidays:

- jewelry
- bubble magnets
- framed photographs
- rosemary bread
- truffles
- snicker's fudge
- dipped pretzels
- biscotti

Any other ideas? I can crochet as well, but just about everyone has received a hat and scarf (or 2).

Now, I realize that this site promotes frugality, conscientious spending, separating needs from wants, paring down clutter, etc...but I found a great

wish list site today!

Let's face it - some people just WANT to buy you a gift for the holidays. Personally, I love buying gifts for other people (that's one of the budget busters I'm working on), and it's great to get something that you know the recipient will love. What I love about kaboodle.com is that you can pull information from all websites, not just amazon.com, etc. You can also organize it - I chose to organize mine by category. Love it.

That said, I certainly don't expect gifts, nor do I enjoy extravagant displays of affection. All I really need is love!! I personally like having a wishlist because it reminds me of the books I'd like to read (from the library), or what I'd most like to spend a gift card on, or what I'm saving up for (like my Olympus E-500!).

Another neat thing about kaboodle - you can have numerous pages. I added a vacation page, too, to remind myself to save for Mexico!

Thanks to Tina's motivational post, I figured out my net worth today.

It's not as bad as I expected, but not good. Maybe sometime in 2007 my debt to asset ratio will even out.

I had an unprecendented experience over the weekend. I tried on a pair of jeans - and they fit on the first try. I tried on another pair - and they fit, too. I didn't have to grab a bazillion other sizes or styles like I normally do. Amazing! Even more surprising to me was that they were Target jeans! $20 each, I can handle that.

I did my part this morning and voted. I went with my gut and voted for governor accordingly. It will be interesting to see how a couple of Minnesota races turn out. You never know with this state!

Good news! I just received a cash award for all my hard work at the office this year. This place never ceases to surprise me!

Anyone in the vicinity - visit Como Zoo when you have a chance. They had a baby giraffe and a baby zebra born last month! So absolutely adorable!

Yesterday my work team was informed that someone in the office has taken it upon him or herself to report to our supervisor that he/she feels we are all on the internet too much. It sounded like someone who walks by our cubes on a regular basis. Unfortunately, pinpointing that person would be impossible because dozens of people walk down the main thoroughfare near our desks every day. Thankfully our supervisor does not see this as a major problem, but advised us to be more careful.

When can I work from home? and at what point did I regress to grade school? "Teacher, the other kids in the class aren't playing nice!" Give me a break. If we were all on the internet constantly, we would never get any work done. I wish people would just mind their own beeswax.

I've noticed, though, that this seems to be a particularly crab-filled week. I'm not sure what's in the air, but everyone is in a mood. I can't wait until it passes (my own irritable mood included).

A friend of mine died in a car accident 9 years ago today. I always wonder what she would be doing now, had she survived. I imagine she would have been an international businesswoman...or maybe a great mom. Maybe both! November 2nd always reminds me to take a step back and remember that I may not be here tomorrow, so enjoy life (preferably without going into debt!).

I ordered a light box online today - a Litebook Elite. It's something I've been thinking about buying for three winters. I love Minnesota and the Twin Cities in the spring, summer, and fall...but the winter is really hard for me. I'm hoping this little light box will help perk me up, since it simulates sunlight. We'll see. If it works, it will be worth it. I'm dipping into savings to pay for it.

Happy Halloween!! This has traditionally been my favorite holiday. This year, I didn't dress in costume, didn't go out with friends, nothing. SO and I are going to carve pumpkins tonight and that will probably be the extent of it. I have the sense that my new apathy toward holidays in general is somewhat derived from rampant commercialism. We are expected to think about the next holiday months in advance. I have no interest in picking out Christmas stockings in July, thank you. Things move entirely too quickly these days. Can't we enjoy the current holiday for a moment, as it is occurring?

Visit

Eat Better America. I signed up and they sent me a neat little blue ring, made from the same material as those Lance Armstrong and breast cancer bracelets, that says 'eat better' on it. I've had the ring sitting on my computer for about a week, and today I picked it up and put it on. A weekend with SO's family invaribly means lots and lots of snacks and sweets. I ate pretty badly this weekend and this little reminder is just the ticket. Tonight I'm having zucchini, tomatoes, onions, and peppers sauteed in a little olive oil and sprinkled with Italian seasoning and a bit of Parmesan. It's one of my favorite things to roll up in a whole wheat tortilla. Yum.

$9 - That's how much I'll have in my checking account after paying all the bills this week. Yikes. And that's got to last how long? The credit card bill was a bit high this month due to our grocery gift card buying. I pay off all of my credit cards every month (and apparently, so does 54% of the U.S. population!). In November, I've got to be more frugal. Just because I have a coupon for something does not mean I have to buy it.

The weekend was chaotic, no two ways about it. It took four trips with a mid-sized moving truck and van to move my brother-in-law. Yikes. I definitely got my weight-bearing exercise in.

I found I have an extra $25 holiday gift to buy. SO's family decided that each adult should draw one adult's name and one child's name this year. I wasn't really planning on the latter. I'll need to do some online scouring to get great deals and still stay within budget.

Yesterday we went to a park that geese flock to and I took two full rolls of film. I recently fixed my camera myself - it had a light leak - so now we'll see if my handiwork paid off. It was so relaxing being outside with my tripod and camera, SO with his sketch pad, and perfect fall weather. Just what I needed in the midst of familial chaos.

This week's goal: No spending until Saturday night!

Thank you. Really, thank you. Your comments made me get a bit teary-eyed at work. Sometimes I feel so alone and unsupported. Perhaps it has something to do with living in the midwest? Of course, not everyone here is judgmental, but it can be a pretty conservative place. As an example - a (former) friend once told me that you weren't a family unless you took your husband's name. I guess I should notify my sister-in-law, since she kept her maiden name and has children!

That's not to say that I feel any pressure whatsoever from my parents or SO's parents to do anything. They are great (and don't want to argue with me about it). Both mothers call our cats their grandchildren and, as such, spoil them rotten. I just get angry when I feel like my marital status defines all that I am as a person to people who don't know me at all. I am far more than that.

On to dinner! Last night we went to

Ecopolitan Restaurant. It's a vegan, organic, raw food restaurant tucked away in a converted apartment building. Now, I know lots of people are wrinkling their noses, but believe me when I tell you that the food was DELICIOUS.

Raw foodists believe that some nutrition is lost when food is cooked. Chips and "bread" are made in a dehydrator (up to a certain temperature), tea is lukewarm, etc. They don't eat any meat, dairy products, or eggs. Food is not baked, fried, sauteed, or microwaved. It's hard to imagine a life without that, right?

We started off with an appetizer of flax seed chips, guacamole, and salsa. That guacamole was so wonderful; I make a mean guacamole, but I need to figure out what was in that! Next we each had smoothies - I had Dark Date, SO had a coconut one. I will be replicating mine at home with bananas, dates, and carob. So good.

Next, our entrees came to the table: spicy thai noodles and fettucini alfredo. The presentation was incredible, just like what you'd see at a fancy restaurant. The 'noodles' were zucchini cut into thin strips, and they even looked like noodles! Both dishes were sooo good. We took a piece of coconut cream pie home with us, and though it wasn't as sweet as traditional desserts, it was really good for something uncooked. We couldn't figure out what it was made of. Overall, it was a great experience (though a bit pricey, but understandably so), and we'll be back. It was even better than I had anticipated.

We also saw The Queen in the theater. It was about the Queen of England and her response to Diana's death (or lack thereof, really). Very good movie, but pretty sad. Lots of shots of Diana and people sobbing.

This weekend, we're heading out to help SO's brother move into his new house. I hope all goes well and everyone remains calm and rational.

Happy Halloween weekend! If you need some cute ideas, check out bettycrocker.com. I particularly like the Ghosts on Broomsticks recipe.

I haven't eaten out in quite a while, and today, I'm having two meals out. I hadn't planned on meeting up with a friend for lunch, but when she suggested it, I jumped on the opportunity. I hadn't seen her in almost two months. Far too long, and definitely worth $6. Lately I've had weird nightmares about having no friends, so it's a good time to get in touch with people.

Tonight SO and I are having a date night - dinner and a movie. Dinner should be...interesting. I'll fill you in tomorrow after the experience. The movie should be good too!

I've been trying to keep my feelings about one particular thread in the forum out of my blog, but I just can't. It's like a thorn in my side.

I have never wanted to get married, and I have never wanted kids - I know, I'm in the minority of all women. That does not mean I am incapable of having a meaningful, loving, long-term, committed realtionship. That does not mean that, should I chose to change my mind about kids, I would be a horrible parent just because I haven't signed a marriage contract with SO. It just doesn't. Being a parent is about so much more than whether or not I have that piece of paper. It's about wanting kids, and loving kids, and being a responsible, mature adult. For some people that means you HAVE to be married. For me, it does not.

It strikes me that so many people think there is only one right way of doing things. I've always been the one saying, "Hey! Hello! I'm not doing it your way, and I'm not dead yet!" Being pushed to do things the way other people want me to do them, because that's the way it's always been done - well, that just makes me stick harder to the what I want to do. Blame it on the Aquarius in me. Oh, and the Irish.

I've had this conversation with endless numbers of people (including in real life), and I don't know why I even bring it up anymore. It seems so few people are even willing to consider how I feel about this - everyone feels the need to talk me out of it and into tradition. No, must get married. Must change last name. Must have children. *sigh* Gotta step back, or I'll drive myself crazy.

In other news, I miss Flash. A lot. Her blog was always fun and interesting to read. I hope she is feeling better.

I've been slacking on my blogging - tsk! tsk! There haven't been any monumentally exciting things going on around here, though...that's a good thing, I think. No extraneous spending, no off-the-wall bills, nothing. Just the way I like it.

Last weekend I cooked up a storm - Moroccan lentil soup, 2 loaves of rosemary bread, 2 'light' cheesecakes, veggie burgers, etc. I definitely kept the kitchen warm. I felt so productive! I had never made rosemary bread before, and it turned out great. My next culinary adventure will be cardamom bread.

Today I took a walk during lunch to blow off some steam. I just don't understand why people feel the need to push their own values and opinions on others. I'm not one for debate, or arguments, or always standing up for myself (though I am trying to get better about the last one)...I just wish everyone would live peacefully and respectfully. The world would be such a better place. I live my life the way I choose, and I'm happy. If you choose to live your life in a different way with different values, that's fine with me. I just don't see the need to attack and insult people whose values differ from your own. I know - crazy talk.

It's a gorgeous day in Minnesota today. Some of the leaves are still clinging to their branches, it's brisk but not cold, and the sun is so deliciously warm. Everyone I met on the path was so friendly. I had no desire to come back inside after my jaunt around the park! This is my favorite time of year.

More ugly pots to make tonight, but they are slowly becoming less ugly. I think I'll be taking this class again next semester. I feel like I'm just now starting to get the hang of it, and I only have 2 more sessions to throw pots!

There's a media sale today at work, so I picked up a couple of books for $1.75. One is on how to start writing fiction. It's pretty good so far, and I need the motivation! Every time I think about what I want to do with my life, I come back to writing. I have this vision of me living on the Oregon coast, writing away, enjoying the ocean, my cats, my sweetheart, and a peaceful existence.

Another piece of motivation - today two members of my team got special awards for exceptional work. One definitely deserved it for all the hard work she does. The other has been here for just four months. My boss nominated both of them. Every member of our team has now received this award, but me. I'm feeling rather dejected and unappreciated. I feel like I've done just as much work as the new person. I'm not sure how to make these people happy.

Thanks for the tip on dark chocolate! What a great idea! I've personally never been a big fan, but a small bit of dark chocolate is worlds better than no chocolate whatsoever. SO and I stopped by Whole Foods last night and picked up brown rice pasta. It was surprisingly delicious and hit the spot.

Pottery class tonight! I'll have to buy another $10 bag of clay since I used up so much of it. Just have to remember not to use so much water, and make sure the wheel is spinning in the right direction.

Current total student loan balance: $12,420. I'd love to get that under $12,000 by the end of the year, but we'll see!

I've peeked at my high school reunion website off and on, and today's visit brought quite the surprise. My high school sweetheart is married to a classmate of mine and they have a child. Wow! Pretty surprising. Just another reason to look smokin' hot by next summer, if I choose to go to the reunion.

SO and I have been dieting for about a week now. We've fallen off the wagon a bit but are still doing really, really well. I am eating better now than I ever have in my life. Brown rice - yum! I had no idea it was so delicious. I prefer it instead of white rice now.

My primary reason to lose some weight, though, is not the potential ex-boyfriend encounter next summer. I have this vision of myself, lying on a warm Mexican beach, in a bikini - and my body looks significantly thinner than it does right now. I just have to keep that picture in mind. Baselle is a big motivator!

I've managed to spend $200 worth of our grocery gift cards already - yikes!! Need to slow it down. Eating better is so much more expensive, but worth it. I've not had a bite of chocolate in 6 days (I feel like an addict, confessing!).

Back from my mini-vacation! We drove up along the north shore of Lake Superior. It was truly gorgeous. We had such a great time! Perfect weather, beautiful scenery, and it was fantastic being away from the city for a few days.

Spent a little more than I had planned, but oh well. It was worth it. Sometimes we just have to get away with a loved one and remember what life is really about.

We hiked at least a mile every day (not the easiest hikes, either). We visited one waterfall twice just to bask in its beauty. It's hard to believe that I was just there yesterday. I'd love to live up in that part of the state if the winters weren't so frigid.

Split Rock Lighthouse ridge:



Twin Falls:



Highest waterfall in Minnesota:



Lake Superior:

Thanks for the heads up, PricePlus! You're right, those diets sound nearly identical. I'm only going to try it for a little while...I don't think I could live without bread or chocolate forever.

Pottery class went much better last night. Reading library books on the subject really helped. I always thought I was a hands-on kind of learner - turns out I'm a reader. I made four pretty ugly pots. Practice, practice.

Sipping on my second giant mug of raspberry herbal tea today, what a throat-soother! I also adore the Kashi oatmeal (how could I not, given the name? ). I picked some up at Trader Joe's the other day, and now it's on sale at Cub Foods. I think I'll stop by and get several more boxes. The honey cinnamon is deeeeelicious.

A co-worker of mine is moving away and her last day is tomorrow. It's funny, I never realized how truly warm and fuzzy non-profit organizations can be, comparitively. No one has said boo about her leaving around here. I bought her a card and am having everyone on our team sign it. And to think, I got a going-away party at my last job! There are good and bad aspects of both types of workplaces...I'm just not quite sure which suits me more. Perhaps neither.

I need to compile a list of things to take on our trip this weekend. It's a half hotel, half camping excursion. I'm going to pack lunch for Saturday, so we'll only eat out once, with any luck. Still not quite sure what to do with the food in bear country. I think we'll pack the bare minimum and hang the rest from a tree. Watching that feat should be an entertainment in and of itself.

Something financial related...I received a Herbal Essences rebate check, and sent out a Snapple rebate.