Too bad I can't make a real poll within my blog. Here's my question:
How do you/did you split the holidays between your family and your significant other's family?
This has been a hot topic in my household as of late. My parents live several hours away, and they only have me, my sister, and my SO. SO's parents live a short drive away and have four kids (with four spouses) and six grandchildren. We see his parents all the time. We see my parents maybe a few times a year.
I haven't been home for Thanskgiving, Easter, the 4th of July, my birthday, my Dad's birthday, etc in years. I make an effort to visit my parents every Christmas. Last year, I spent Christmas with SO's family for the first time and went to my parents' house a few days later. My family did not celebrate Christmas at all until I got there. I felt horrible!!
This year, I'm going to my parents' house, with or without SO. It's also the week of my mom's 60th birthday, which I don't want to miss.
I'm not sure how to deal with this. SO wants me with him, but also wants to be at his parents' house. I am going to my parents' house. A friend of mine feels it is unfair of me to expect SO to stay at my parents' house for a week (although, he has family nearby that he could visit, too). She thinks we should get a hotel room whenever we visit my parents. That might make SO more comfortable, yes, but my family would be so disappointed, not to mention the cost of a week in a hotel!!! Plus driving - it would be at least a half hour drive one way to get to a hotel from my parents' house.
So, your thoughts and experiences, please. Do you alternate holidays every year? Is there any alternative to splitting the holidays or going our separate ways during that time? Am I agonizing over this too much?
(I'll get that Snickers Fudge recipe out next!)
poll: the holidays
November 10th, 2006 at 09:33 pm
November 10th, 2006 at 09:39 pm 1163194744
If SO is significant enough on his end he'll be understanding of YOUR needs and will be there when you get back. If not, then he was really insignificant, wasn't he???
Need Snicker Fudge badly!!!
November 10th, 2006 at 09:43 pm 1163194988
November 10th, 2006 at 09:45 pm 1163195119
November 10th, 2006 at 09:47 pm 1163195266
November 10th, 2006 at 10:38 pm 1163198292
You may want to watch pulling the "well your parents have 4 kids" card. Hubby (an only child) does that. (I'm from a big family). But just because I have lots of brothers and sisters doesn't mean that I don't miss my parents when I'm away for the holiday, or that they don't miss me.
It all comes down to compromise...It seems like you have good communication with SO. I'd try sitting down with him and a bottle of wine and hashing it out!
November 11th, 2006 at 01:26 am 1163208361
November 11th, 2006 at 02:39 am 1163212758
November 11th, 2006 at 09:58 pm 1163282318
November 11th, 2006 at 11:59 pm 1163289596
bigqueue - That sounds like exactly what we are going to start doing next year.
I wish our families lived closer...but we should definitely come up with a plan before we eventually move to Oregon, and it becomes even more complicated. Thanks for your input!