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April 26th, 2018 at 10:19 pm

My beautiful, sweet, amazing cat passed away in my arms on April 11th. My sister helped me care for her in her last week and my mom came to stay with me for a couple of weeks too. I was very grateful for my mom's presence. Now that she has returned home, the house is very empty with just me and my older cat. I love him dearly but he can be so obnoxious. My younger cat was my little furry soulmate, always with me every second I was at home, and such a sweet soul. I miss her so much. I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without her. My other cat is almost 14 so he will be passing soon as well, and frankly, after him, I don't want to go through this again. I will likely lose the ones I love most (my cats and my parents) within the next 5-10 years, and then what is there to live for?

I dropped out of graduate school. In the midst of getting very little sleep and giving my cat pain medication every three hours around the clock, I said enough. The university could not care any less about my quitting or the reasons behind it, so I made the right decision.

On the money front:
- I spent $8500 on my cat before she passed. My mother graciously paid for the cremation.
- I spent a lot more on groceries in April with three weeks of house guests.
- I'll have to pay for the dropped graduate class in full. Oh well. My HR department is playing games with my reimbursement request for the first class, so I'll need to fight them on it. Sigh.
- I found out that my ex still had my name on his electric bill. I swear I removed myself when I moved out three years ago, but lo and behold, I just received his late payment notice. I removed my name immediately.
- I need to mail the cans of liquid cat food I bought. They asked for a return reason. That was fun.

Looking back to last summer, I had such lofty aspirations for improving my life. How things change.

12 Responses to “update”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    ((Hugs)) It is so hard to lose a pet. You are grieving so I wouldn't ruminate on how life will be without your other cat or parents. There is so much to live for, you just need to look for it!! You may actually be one of those people that needs to have a pet despite the heartbreaking loss that inevitably comes. You clearly have deep compassion, and that is needed in this world.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    ((Hugs)) so sorry for your loss!

  3. snafu Says:

    Sad to learn your cat passed on. You certainly made her time in your home blessed. {{{hugs}}}

  4. CB in the City Says:

    Please keep your lofty aspirations. As you say, things change. They will change again. I'm sorry to hear your beloved cat has died. Take comfort in the good life you gave her and your heroic efforts to save her. She died in loving arms; she was very fortunate to have you.

  5. Rose. Says:

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. It sounds like you gave her the very best care.

  6. rob62521 Says:

    Very sorry for your loss.

    Don't get discouraged as far as your lofty aspirations. This is just a bump in the road. Right now you are feeling pretty low.

  7. PatientSaver Says:

    Oh, Kashi, hugs, and more hugs. I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. It reminds me of my relationship with my 2 cats, and Waldo, the one who died last summer. But give your remaining cat some time to form a new relationship with you. When Waldo was still alive, he was the one who found a spot next to me on the bed first, and Luther would never "compete."
    Waldo was very demonstrative in his affection, and Luther appeared more reserved. But things have changed since Waldo's death; I think Luther just didn't want to compete for my attention, and since Waldo's been gone, Luther has stepped up to the plate, and is more affectionate.

    I'm sorry you dropped out of grad school. I do remember also dropping out of law school after 1 year, and I felt the same way as you...that they couldn't care less.

    I was able to get a refund for the return of some meds from the vet I hadn't used; they were expensive, so I made the effort to do so.

  8. VS_ozgirl Says:

    Kashi so very sorry for the loss of your fur baby Frown.. I'm in a similar situation as you, with our animals ageing and likely to no longer being with us in the next few years. It's very hard but we're starting to make plans for life after our pets. For example being able to go away more frequently due to no pet responsibilities and a big trip being planned for the next few years. Give yourself time to grieve and hopefully like PatientSaver said you might end up having a closer relationship with your other cat. {{big hugs}}

  9. LuckyRobin Says:

    Aw, Kashi, that is so rough. It's never easy to lose a creature we love, let alone one that has become extra close to our hearts. It is normal for you to feel depressed and at a loss right now. Life has so many ups and downs. Right now you are in a downward spiral, but please remember life has a way of reversing things and happy things will return to your life. Sometimes you have to go looking for them, though. And I wouldn't give up on having more cats. Some day your heart will heal enough that you will want the joy they bring you back in your life. Just not for a while, yet. Take your time to grieve.

  10. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm so sorry for your loss Kashi. {{hugs}}

  11. kashi Says:

    Thank you so much, everyone. It has been a very hard few weeks but your words have given me comfort.

  12. crazyliblady Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. If you don't succeed in being able to send the cat food back, you could donate it to the humane society so other animals could benefit.

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