Yesterday I received a package in the mail from my aunt. She sent two books (one of which was "Smart Women Finish Rich"), a calendar, and a check for my IRA. It seems that whenever I get worried about funds or do something stupid like buy climbing shoes when I shouldn't, the universe comes around and helps me out. It's really quite odd, actually. I hadn't talked to my aunt in months, and out of the blue she sent me that package. Very, very sweet. I'm going to put a portion of the money into my IRA and the rest toward my credit card bill. I'm really looking forward to reading that book!

Humorously enough, I did come home right away and google those landlords after we met them. I didn't find much online, but they told us their professions. I asked if we could come by the house again and see it in sunny weather, and also asked if we could talk to the previous tenant. They were fine with both ideas. We'll probably go see it again later this week (assuming it stops raining).

I've realized that part of my hesitation stems from not being 110% sure about my relationship. If I was that sure, I would marry him (but I'm not ready to get married right now). I'm worried about moving in together and then going through the agony of breaking up, and having to separate our belongings in the process. If we ultimately do get married, I'm worried that I will regret not having lived alone for a longer period of time. I keep trying to guess how I'm going to feel about things in 10-20 years, but that is impossible, so why do I do it??

I love having him around, and I think if we got that apartment, there is plenty of space for us to have alone time (which we both need now and then). It's not as if it's a new relationship either, we've been together for almost three years. He loves me absolutely. The problem is that I am the committment-phobe! I've been all over the map on this over the past few days...yesterday I had convinced myself not to do it, and today I really think I could enjoy it. Seriously people, I need that magic 8 ball.