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the fears that hold you back

November 14th, 2006 at 12:15 pm

I've been contemplating writing a lot lately. I'm still reading that how-to fiction writing book every day at lunch, and last night I thumbed through a writer's retreat kit. My mom mentioned a computer program on the market that helps you start writing (a computerized kick in the pants, if you will). All this contemplating, yet still no writing. Last night the little voice in my head kept saying I don't have enough creativity to write. And then I'm too tired. And the laundry needs to get done. And the cat is screaming at me for attention. And and and.

The same thing happens with other creative pursuits of mine. I've starting making jewelry again. At this time last year, I perused our workplace craft sale and thought, "I could make better jewelry than that!" Did I? No. A year later, I should have more inventory than a dozen pieces. I could have a table at the craft sale today, but I don't. I sometimes get frustrated with jewelry-making in the same way I get frustrated with writing, or practicing my bassoon if it's just not a good day for it, or trying to learn a new piano piece.

The problem, however, is not that I lack creativity. It's that I have trouble ignoring that annoying little voice. What's there to be afraid of, anyway? So I can't make necklace look quite right...so what? So no one wants to publish my novel...so what? So my clay pots are hideously ugly...so what? I'll just take the class again, and get better.

I think I've had the "must have natural talent" drum beating away for so long that I've forgotten that nothing comes easily. I've got to work at it.

Hmmm, something financial.....today I compared my net worth in October 2005 to my net worth now. I've gained over $8,000. Pretty good! Perhaps this time next year I'll be $5,000 in the black!

8 Responses to “the fears that hold you back”

  1. janH Says:

    I've got the same voice and perfectionism going on. I, also, like a bunch of different "creative" outlets. I have figured out recently that if I stick to one or two at a time and alternate, that I actually finish things. Also, I try to keep my DD's voice in my head that tells me that is it just as fun to make things not perfect. And I've learned to laugh. I recently decided to learn to crochet scarves. My first one--I used too big a hook--came out twice as wide as it should and drags the floor! I guess I should pay attention to that guage thing after all. But I had fun making it......gotta get better from here. (laughing beats the anger at myself I used to have)

  2. Broken Arrow Says:

    Haha, I understand that voice too. In fact, it even "talked" to me when I started up my blog here.

    "Oh, no one is going to read it, and the few that passes by, they're going to laugh at your poor writing skills, and you're just going to be let down even more anyway."

    Fortunately, it didn't work out that way. Smile It's a good thing this is such a supportive crowd. That and I decided that I wouldn't write for others. I would only write for myself, to keep myself accountable and to keep myself focused.

    Perhaps, that would help you? Just pretend that you're just writing for yourself? After all, until you share it with the public, that's... exactly what you're doing. So, what have you got to lose? Smile

  3. tinapbeana Says:

    bluh inner voices!!! when it comes to hobbies and housework both, my biggest problem is distraction. i start doing something and then have to go to another part of the house to get something/put something away, notice something else that needs to get done, and POOF it snowballs from there. 3 hours later i'm doing something completely unrelated to what i started out with, and always feel like i've not actually gotten anything done. very frustrating.

    what works for me is to time block. not necessarily "i'm going to clean for 1 hour today" but instead "during this 1 hour all i can do is clean". if i'm not cleaning all i get to do is sit there, no TV no books nothing. honestly, i'd rather clean for an hour than be bored for an hour! this works for me for most anything i do: yard work during this hour, online time during this hour, cleaning during that hour, etc.

  4. pjmama Says:

    Ha. I'm with Tina. I get distracted... or maybe I just have ADD?

  5. frugalmomof1 Says:

    I get distracted while doing house work too..probably because I don't want to do it.

    Anyway, I understand about fears holding you back. About 4 years ago my friend (and boss) wrote 2 children's books....and I have to say that they are very cute. She used to read the books to her DD who LOVED them.
    Although we always talk about trying to publish them, we never do. There is definately a fear factor there.

  6. Over My Head Says:

    I used to fantasize about writing a book. But that was it. I do not understand why some people are so confident and they just "do it" and others are have little or no confidence and think it is impossible. My sister is good for saying she is going to do this or that or have this or that and sure enough she eventually does it or gets it. Hmm, maybe in my next life I will be more like that ;0)

  7. baselle Says:

    You already written a book, kashi. Most of your blog entries are at least a page, and you have 355 of them--That being said, I have exactly the same fear. It keeps me eternally editing and not finishing my novel. Because then if I finish, I have to try and sell it, or I have to show someone the dang thing.

  8. frugaldutchgirl Says:

    Oh my! Reading your entry made me feel like we came from the same mold. I have so many plans in my head that I would like to do, and never do them (or not finish them). I know that if I would write them all down and then calculate the hours in a day and the years in my life, it is impossible to do them all, so I don't write them down.....
    I guess there must be some benefit in having all these plans in your head contra actually doing them. I am definitely a planner but long to be a do-er.

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