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still processing

April 20th, 2007 at 04:01 pm

I've been back from Florida for a few days, but I'm still processing everything that happened. My great-aunt was an interesting character. I would have liked to get to know her under different circumstances. As it was, our time together was stressful and filled with more confrontation than I would have liked. I'm not one for confrontation, but make my mother cry? And look out.



When I left, I thought we had come to an amicable solution; we found a lovely assisted living facility that my great-aunt loved, and she put down a deposit on a room. My mother is staying for another three weeks to smooth the transition. Yesterday, however, the rehab center my great-aunt is currently staying in decided to inform the assisted living facility that she needs an excessive amount of care - more than she really needs, in my opinion. I'm not sure what their motivation is. Thus, the assisted living facility may not accept her, and she's only got a week left of Medicare coverage. My mother has to deal with this headache on her own. In the face of this, my great-aunt is again threatening to move back into her house with no care whatsoever (not possible or safe).



Sometimes my great-aunt is "there", sometimes she's not. She's very witty and very funny when she's present. When she's not, she's calling my mother by my grandmother's name, throwing out crazy accusations, and telling us about the music (voices?) she's going going on in her head. She refuses to move to where my mother lives simply because of the state, even though she's never been there. She's got no family and no friends in Florida, or within 1100 miles, and doesn't mind one bit. It's an interesting existence.



Mom and I made it to the beach one day to watch the sun rise. It was simply gorgeous. After the sun rose, we spent some time splashing through the warm water looking for seashells. What a great memory.



More photos, including photos of the Morikami Japanese Gardens, are on my flickr site.

7 Responses to “still processing”

  1. JanH Says:

    Those are amazing photos! I'm really sorry about your great-aunt. Good thoughts going out to her and your mom. Your mom is a terrific, loving woman.

  2. kashi Says:

    Thank you, Jan!!

  3. boomeyers Says:

    I hope your mom socks it to the rehab center! Let the new place evaluate her themselves!
    Love the pics, can't wait to get to Florida next week!

  4. littlegopher Says:

    What a difficult situation for your aunt and family. Best wishes!!

    Hey, you arrived back in MN, just in time for some gorgeous weather!

  5. HouseHopeful Says:

    I loved the photos! I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you and your mom are going through. My great-aunt ended up in nursing facilities and by the time she went to the first one, she was having good day & bad days. She called us by the wrong names, would have angry outbursts, and more. Part of the anger was from fear. She didn't understand what was going on, or she knew she had no control over being there. I was the only person in the family that she used to scream "I hate you" at, but that was because I visited her the most. I think she equated me with the reason that she was there. Although many hurtful things can be said by your great-aunt, just remember, it may be out of fear. I am so sorry that you and your mom have to go through this, especially at a long distance. If you ever feel like talking about this, please let me know. I truly understand how hard it is.

  6. homebody Says:

    I'm sorry too.

    The gardens are beautiful. I used to be more attracted to English Cottage Gardens, but more and more love the beauty of the simple Japanese gardens.

  7. kashi Says:

    boomeyers, have a great time!! It's nice and warm there!

    littlegopher, the weather has been wonderful ever since I got back! How pleasant. Smile
    HouseHopeful, I'm sorry you've had to go through something similar. It really is a difficult situation.

    homebody, I love the Japanese gardens, too. They are so peaceful. Just what we needed.

    Thanks for all your warm thoughts.

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